On Intelligence....... Dear Future (Insert Title Here) Part 1B

Last month I did a tongue in cheek blog called Dear Future ( Insert Title Here) Part 1 where I dropped a few nuggets about myself for my future whatever he may be.  One of my friends commented that I didn't mention my intellect and knowledge which he thought were some of my more attractive qualities.  This made me reflect on why I didn't mention that I am extremely intelligent.  Not Mensa smart mind you, but smart nevertheless.   So here are my reasons, in no particular order:

1.  I am a G.R.I.T ( Girl Raised in the South) 

I was raised by my paternal grandparents and  I was brought up to exercise humility, to be polite, not to brag about what I can or cannot do, how much I know or do not know and to listen more than I speak.  To glean knowledge but not necessarily broadcast that I had it.

2.  It brought me unwanted attention.  

I could read before I started school and the high school and elementary schools were only blocks away from where I lived. When I started first grade I would walk to school with the neighborhood kids.   Once the high school and upper grade elementary school kids found out I could read (I don't know how they found out, probably from my uncle who was only two grades ahead of me) they would give me their books and make me read them aloud to show off to their friends and I became known as "the smart girl" and almost EVERY day I had to do this.  Once I started learning math I had to start showing them I could work their level of math.  

I felt like a sideshow act and hated being the focus of attention for so many people but I was too timid to say no.  After a while adults started doing it as well and my peers treated me like some sort of anomaly.  This was extremely difficult for a introverted little girl with very little social skills.  It wasn't until much later in life I learned:

3.  It's not an attractive quality in some people.

You know those people, those who know everything (or think they do). Those who always have something to say, who are the experts on everything, and a day can't go by without them expounding on their knowledge, thoughts, opinions etc. BLAH BLAH BLAH.  It's obnoxious and unfortunately I work with some of these types.  Also I believe you don't have to be the only one with an answer or solution and there are others, who given the chance to speak may have a better way or answer.  I try to NOT be one of those people.  Honestly, sometimes I fall back to amuse myself.

 4.   I sometimes have to deal with simple minded members of the opposite sex.

I was sharing with a guy I had been dating that I am much more than physical attributes (since that's all he wanted to constantly comment on) and he replied "Carol, no one cares about your mind.  That's not what I'm thinking about when I look at you."  Needless to say I friend zoned him with a quickness. 

5. I don't like talking about myself.

 I don't why I am as guarded as I am but I don't feel the need to let anyone know everything. I feel if you take the time to get to know me you'll find out all there is to know. A good friend told me my thoughts reminded him of The Art of War (which I have never read) so I took a quick look and it did have some useful quotes about how I think.

6.  Last but not least, I don't know everything! 

I'm smart but I'm not that smart, LOL.

So I hope this answers my friend's question.  Thanks for making me think about it!!

Sisterhood, not a Destination but a Journey

March 15^th always rings a bell for me, it usually takes a second for me to realize it’s the day I was initiated to my sorority.  Then it brings back a flood of memories…

I went to college with financial aid and scholarships from three predominately African American sororities (shout out to Zeta Phi Beta, Alpha Kappa Alpha and Delta Sigma Theta) so my junior year I decided to look into what these sororities were about and ultimately decided to pledge one.

 I went into the process not knowing who would be taking the journey with me.  Ultimately it was me and four other ladies, none of which I knew and didn’t recall seeing around campus.  We had different interests, lived in different dorms, had different friends and had no classes together.

Throughout our process we went from five to three , three  who studied together, walked together, talked together, laughed together, cried together, sang together, recited together, faced challenges together, sometimes lived together ( and sometimes disappeared together, LOL) . There were times I wanted to quit, times I wanted to fight and times I was scared out of my mind but to leave would be leaving two parts of me behind.   

In time we three strangers learned as much as we could about each other and became friends.  Early in the morning on March 15, 1985 the girls from Salisbury, Greensboro and Fayetteville became more than friends, they became sisters.  On that day Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated gained three beautiful, intelligent, talented, awesome sorors known as the Encore line.

The years have taken us to different places with different careers but time and distance can never break the bond we have and though we don’t talk every day when we do talk or get together it’s like we’ve never been apart.  Encore, Encore always leave them wanting more!

 Happy Zetaversary #3 ( KTC) and #4 ( Snapshot)

Much love from #1 ( Maestro)

Celebrating our 30th year in Zetadom, can't wait to reunite in 2020 at Centennial!